My preferred genre is chick lit/women’s fiction. These genres lend themselves to an intimate relationship with the protagonist. Like getting to know a close friend. Writing in first person for these genres is what is most comfortable for me. (A fact learned after switching from third to first person more than 50 pages into two different novels.) First person allows me to slip easily into the mind of my character and take readers there with me.
But how can you achieve this goal when first person isn’t the most conducive option? This was the question I faced when undertaking my latest story, a romantic thriller told primarily from the perspective of the hero.
First person wasn’t a good fit for this story. Still, I wanted the reader to slip inside the protagonist’s skin and feel what he was feeling, understand why he’d made the choices he did. I tried my to do this using third person, but it wasn’t intimate enough. Then I discovered a technique that allowed me to step back, but still get inside of the head of my character–close third, or deep point of view.
Deep POV is the use of third person in a manner which allows readers to see, hear, and feel the action as the character does. Let’s look at an example.
Third Person
Lydia was startled by the sound of a familiar voice. It was her neighbor, Nate Johnson. She was surprised he would return to her bakery after their awful date last night.
In the third person example we know that Lydia is surprised Nate would return to her bakery after their awful date last night, but we feel a bit removed from the situation.
Close Third Person (or Deep POV)
“Good morning.”
Lydia’s spine stiffened as she clenched the carafe’s handle. Hot coffee splashed onto the floor. It couldn’t be. Nate Johnson wouldn’t dare show his face here after their train wreck of a date last night. She turned slowly. Her scowl softened as she took in every inch of his delicious, six-foot frame. So maybe he was better at second dates.
In the second example, we are still in third person, but the distance has been erased. We’re experiencing the scene from Lydia’s point of view, not from the perspective of a random, objective observer. We not only see her reaction to hearing Nate’s voice, but we understand why she’s surprised he would dare show his face again. We also discern that, despite their disastrous date last night, Lydia is still quite attracted to Nate and ready to give him a chance to redeem himself.
Close third person or deep POV is an excellent tool that enables storytellers to engage readers and get them invested in our characters. Got a third person passage you need to kick up a notch? Give it the deep POV treatment and post it in the comments below.
Want to try the technique, but you’re not sure how? Come back on Thursday and we’ll share our favorite resource for helping you turn your manuscript into a deep POV masterpiece.
Photo credit: Fear II. All rights reserved by Teag.
Roxanne Ravenel (263 Posts)Roxanne is a freelance journalist and novelist living in North Carolina. Her alter ego, Reese Ryan, writes smart, spicy fiction populated by deliciously flawed, multicultural characters living in the Midwest and Southeast. Her debut novel, TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, will be published by Carina Press July 22, 2013. She is Managing Editor of the long-running e-zine, All Things Girl.
Roxanne Ravenel (263 Posts)Roxanne is a freelance journalist and novelist living in North Carolina. Her alter ego, Reese Ryan, writes smart, spicy fiction populated by deliciously flawed, multicultural characters living in the Midwest and Southeast. Her debut novel, TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, will be published by Carina Press July 22, 2013. She is Managing Editor of the long-running e-zine, All Things Girl.
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I really liked your post and the technique.
I made the mistake of writing in third person, only to get a few chapters in and realize I wasn’t feeling it. I knew that I had to tell it from my protagonist’s POV in first person. The story flowed much better and I felt it gave more insight into her actions and decisions.
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First of all, LOVE LOVE LOVE the new look of your site!! I had to do a double-take when I clicked over here because I thought I was int he wrong place. I like all the new bells and whistles, too. Rock on, Roxie!
Regarding POV, like you, I’m most comfortable writing in first person as well. However, you’ve provided some great information on Deep POV that I can use when I venture into third person on my next WIP. I’m stashing this info in my resource file for future use later. Thanks for sharing it.
Pingback: Rivet Your Readers with Deep Point of View by Jill Elizabeth Nelson | Mindful Banter
@Melissa – Welcome to Mindful Banter! I definitely understand switching point of view and all the work that goes into the process. The story itself really does determine which tense will work best.
@Demetria — Hi Demetria! I have definitely missed chatting with you here and on your blog. Does that mean your hiatus is almost over? Thanks for the compliments on my updated blog. I figured it was time to do a little redecorating here.
RaleighRoxStar recently posted..Rivet Your Readers with Deep Point of View by Jill Elizabeth Nelson
I just saw this on Ink and jumped over to read it. This is the second post I’ve read about deep POV and I’m bookmarking it. After I get the POVs straightened out (I was head-jumping) my next step is to go in and correct for this mistake. I need to get closer to my two protagonists and let readers feel that intimacy. It’s not quite there yet. I need to perfect the technique. Thanks for the post.
It was joining my critique group that really helped me to spot head-hopping and how to best resolve it. Sometimes it can feel confining to have to stay in the proper point of view, to be honest.
Deep point of view has given me a new perspective on writing in third person. In fact, I plan to read Jill Elizabeth Nelson’s Rivet Your Readers with Deep Point of View again.
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